A man was quietly reading his paper when his wife sneaks up behind him and whacks him on the head with a frying pan.
‘What was that for?’ he says. ‘That was for the piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name Mary Lou written on it’, she replies.
‘Two weeks ago when I went to the races, Mary Lou was the name of one of the horses I bet on’, he explains. She looks satisfied, apologizes, and goes off to do work around the house.
Three days later he’s again sitting in his chair reading when she nails him with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him out cold. When he comes to, he says, ‘What the hell was that for?’
‘Your horse phoned.’
Casino Extra Blackjack dealer
A Blackjack dealer and a player with a thirteen count in his hand were arguing about whether or not it was appropriate to tip the dealer.
The player said, ‘When I get bad cards, it’s not the dealers fault. Accordingly, when I get good cards, the dealer obviously had nothing to do with it so why should I tip …